about me

The name I usually go by on the internet is Nini. This comes from 'Ningning', which comes from my Chinese name, Jianing. My mother usually calls me either Ningning, or my english name of 'Owen'. Owen is actually a name I chose by myself, and I do have another English name which my father chose for me. In the future, I would like for my English name(s) to just be eradicated completely.

Obviously, as you could've guessed, I'm Chinese. Speaking on literal terms, I am mixed race! My father is white. However, I usually don't align that much with my white side, since my mother is the one who raised me my whole life and I look more asian.

As I've said, I'm a huge himejoshi. "Himejoshi", meaning "princess girl", means a female fan of yuri, which is manga or anime depicting sapphic relationships. I don't identify fully with the concept of being 'female', but usually with these kind of terms since I don't care much about my gender I usually just use whatever sounds better or sometimes, whichever is funnier. My obsession with yuri most likely stems from my own intense sapphic experience. Men just aren't appealing at all to me, but I love romance. Despite this, I actually love a lot of yaoi ships (which, if you don't know what that is, it's relationships between guys as you probably could have guessed). Because of fandom misogyny, and generally just the existence of misogyny in fiction, people usually don't write their female characters well enough for proper relationships. If people have queerness in media, it's usually always just yaoi. I still genuinely enjoy a lot of these ships though!!! Don't get me wrong, any representation is better than none. I rarely interact with hetero ships, since they're kind of everywhere in real life I don't find much need to seek it out in fiction.

I can be quite a sensitive person, which is ironic considering the fact I'm also painfully insensitive. I can be quite slobbish, rude or dirty, and sometimes I might seem like I don't have manners or common sense. In fact, this is something I'm often quite embarassed about, which is why I'm explaining it here lmfao. It's because growing up, I had a pretty difficult childhood. My father was absent and abusive, and my mother was overworked and stressed from my dad never doing anything, so there was nobody to actually TEACH me what is considered "common sense" or "manners". Also, the town I grew up in was pretty anti-social so it's not like I had a community to look for advice. This is also why I might seem stupid or dumb or like I don't know things. Please don't tease me over these. (sorry for the traumadump, tmi lol)